HUBRIS VS. HUMILITY
Clarity and Connection vs Competition and Ego
I often recall two distinct moments when I sat across from colleagues as pivotal lessons on how to "show up."
The first time, I was working in a consulting firm, talking through how best to begin a new client project with my supervisor. We were on the agenda, and he said to me, "Just remember we know more than them, so just lead." In one way, I think it's important to know what you offer and feel confident in your position, well enough to lead in an appropriate way (seat at the table and all). It is a different matter when you feel you are the smartest person in the room, because you can easily believe that there is nothing anyone else can offer.
I believe in partnership and a roundtable of offerings. It is foolish to assume that you know more as a hard stop; you know what you know, and there is also more to learn. As business consultants, what we know are theories that have proved successful through practice. That means we are generalists, and we are in partnership with our clients, who are the specialists and experts in their work. We've been invited to the table. Hubris may help you master the courage to walk in the door, but only connection and humility will get you invited back.
The second time, I sat in a final pitch meeting with a prospective client and partner colleague (It usually takes more than one discussion to secure a business engagement. Here's why… When we were walking through our approach and talking through team structure, the prospective client said, "why should we hire you?" My colleague turned and said with great pride, "Because we are the best!" The client looked at me and waited for an answer... I thought, "well, that was clever, but that's not the answer, because all consultants think they are the best." It's a subjective perspective; it's also not answering the real question. The real question prospective clients are asking is "Can we trust you? Are you the right fit? Will it be worth it?" These questions are unknown until you navigate forward together.
My intuition told me in that moment to stop pitching. It was the moment to stop leaning in and to just sit in who we were and who we were not. This is when clarity counts most. You absolutely need to know the landscape of competitors and how you measure up, how much you shine. At this point, your credentials have been verified, and potential clients have the resources to invest. What they're searching for is connection. So, here's what I said then, and here's what I say now.
Choose us because you trust us. What you are asking for on paper, most of our colleagues and competitors have the capacity to do. It's what's not on the paper that we're offering. Choose us because you trust us to navigate you into unchartered waters. There will be many moments that come up in life that will take us off course; you'll have to trust in us to get to the destination. That's the only way it works. Things happen, cash flow slows down, personal tragedies require a pause, team collaborations need recalibration, etc., because there are plans, and then there is life. We are a safe pair of hands that will make sure we get you over the finish line. It may not always be comfortable, and it will be a bit messy sometimes, but that's how the sausage is made. We're here to make sure we finish, and we finish strong.
Having the clarity to know who you are, what you offer and how you navigate the world is a sound strategy for business. You won't get every piece of business you pitch for, but honestly, some are not meant for you. It's not rejection, just redirection toward the best fit and connection.